Your vagina is a self cleaning oven.
This is some kinda fucked up sordid doggy brothel peepshow bullshit.
U know u have sex too much when u have lube in ur rolliball on ur blackberry
We met at my place after separate parties but the condom wrapper was red with hearts and said love. Does that count as a romantic date?
Just to save you guys the surprise, somebody shit outside of our door.
his phone is always ringing though. It makes me feel like I'm dating a doctor who's always on call.
yeah, dating a doctor sounds much better than fucking your drug dealer.
how many lesbians have to have their hearts broken before they realise I am not that kind of DJ
Everything was yummy and fruit flavored and five alive and happymeas.
wait can you just like go into detail with this penis touching thing? like was it a hand job or was it like a day at the petting zoo or something
Remember when you fed me goldfish while I was -inside- of someone?
I got inside last night via doggy door
With gravity the way it is and your butt clearly being the size of a bus you'd break your hip or something
I almost had sex at the fire station last night and I need you to acknowledge all the awesomeness that is in that sentence.
First time not coming to this class high in a month and a half, never again will i put myself thru this torture
I think my roomie is silently judging me for spraining my foot by having sex in a bounce house
so the bounce house and tequila was good idea then?
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