I love you and miss you, which in no way dimishes how much I hate the person you turned out to be, but I still love and miss you.
Gonna be late. Someone jumped in front of our train.
he has a girlfriend so we used my stuffed animals to pretend to have sex
Sex on a kitchen table is not as amazing as they make is seem in the movies.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He cummed in my mouth, then said he had to go because his best friend broke his foot falling off of a balcony, put twenty dollars in my hand and was gone before I could even swallow...
A freshman just referred to Home Improvement as 'tim the tool man show'. People born after 1990 are not people.
Maybe walking up to the cops busting our party with a "Things go better with Coke" t-shirt on and asking for my extra license back that my little brother got busted with wasn't the best idea of the night.
The first couple times was just weird, but after last night, I'm beginning to think you have a real problem banging pregnant women who are carrying someone elses child.
Just had a heart to heart with my John Belushi poster.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
sriracha body shots, that's gonna be a thing
it's like you just said "i want you to suffer"
Eight drinks in. Subject is fondling chips before eating them. Intoxicated texting has expanded from best friend to random guy I met in FBLA.
i dunno, a lot of my childhood feels like a drugged up fever dream
he asked if he should bring the trash can into the room.. apparently i shoved my finger all over his face and said.. shhhh dont talk... just take your pants off.
I refuse to take any type of advice let alone love advice from a motherfucker who is missing 3 fingers from a Fucked up masturbating accident.
She sent a group text pic called "Assemble" of his dick next to her forearm.
I'm down.
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