worst lay ever....
as long as you cum, there is no bad sex
ya... thank god for condoms, I was able to fake it... I stand by my original statement
I came out of bedroom with my jeans on backwards, zipped AND buttoned. I have inconceivable talents whilst intoxicated.
at that time a 4 pound meatball stuffed with pizza rolls seemed more important than bailing you out of jail.... sorry.
I think he's in need of mouth to penis resuscitation. Which I happen to be certified
One good thing about being a mom now, I can tell which guys I'm dating were breastfed and which weren't... By the way they latch on to my breast during sex! Kinda kills the mood.
Drunk me needs to be reminded of my sexual preferences.
at least it wasnt animals
NO I WOULD NOT GET A GUMMER FROM A GRANDMOTHER
You have to summon your inner elephant
I have the WORST cramps EVER. I think this is gods way of saying 'you're welcome, last warning. stop being a slut.'
I kinda took a step back after our "surprise bottles night"
...I'm not a booty call or a pizza...you can't just call/text and expect to be eating me in an hour..
You drink too much. You cuss too much. You have questionable morals. You're everything I've ever wanted in a friend.
Can I drink yet?
It's Monday morning.
Your point?
OKAY THAT'S CREEPY AND I'D PROBABLY ACCIDENTLY ORGASM
Tequila shots and throwing it at a bell.
This is dumb. I'll keep doing it.
Randomize
