I like how she turned her beer into a wet t-shirt contest
The best part about the NBA starting up is I get to see Charles Barkley make a fool out of himself for 8 months
you spent the rest of the night making a recipe for mixed drink called "the new years bowel remover". it has 13 parts but judging from the bold all caps, the boiled avocado is the most important
The swelling on my elbow and tongue means I may have cockblocked myself.
I want a coyote to ride back and forth to the bathroom because walking is getting old
Can we play rock paper scissor shot again? I want to black out in 15 minutes or less...
She asked me to go inside, make myself a drink and slip into something a little more naked.
I felt so bad for you. Drunk Rachael wanted nothing more than to crawl into the cop car and give you a hug. Luckily Mollied/Barred out Rachael convinced Drunk Rachael this was a terrible idea. So I ran. I have your keys btw
Someone put a huge skyy vodka bottle in our washing machine. My roommate didn't see it and ran it. The washing machine split in two. #life
I think I'm getting sponsored by the Mexican Drug Cartel for the start of my poker career. It was an interesting night at the bar. One word, Vegas.
Themes for tonight: men who look like bill Gates but sing smash mouth songs. Women who's names are also food. Haircuts that DO NOT cover bald spots.
It will be the shitshow of all shitshows.
Would I do it again? Probably not but still,I don't regret a single ratchet thing I've done in college.
found a thong and $20 in my right pocket. it's going to be a good day
I just want to meet a nice normal guy that doesn't want me to taze him while we have sex. . . . .is that too much to ask for?
Randomize
