But honestly u used to be a cool guy and lately uve been superame(734): Superlame
How fat would you say she has to be before I can consider this a threesome
can a staight man not wear seersucker in this town?
The dentist just called my mother to confirm the appointment that I made on his answering machine at 4:33 am this morning..
i was so drunk that there were 2 of her, and i didn't know which one to fuck
I hope my margaritas pass through security.
he woke me up at 3 am to ask me where my plunger, a towel, and staples were. i'm afraid to go into my bathroom.
no more heavy drinking durning the lady that cleans the office told me i have to emtpy my own thrash if i puke in it
Bisexual Viking-cowboy hybrid is at the bar again
Dibsssss
There's a very drunk Asian strawberry shortcake crying on the curb next to my truck. I'm not really sure what standard protocol is for this situation.
I almost stopped mid bj to let him know I appreciated his balls being nice to look at/have my face near. But I didn't know if that would ruin, or improve the moment.
Here's a concept though: eating pasta while getting laid
One of these days I would like to go out drinking and stick to plan of just getting drunk and not be sidetracked with other people's plans of doing drugs along the way. I didn't even want to not feel my teeth tonight but here we go just another Thursday night when you live I live
idk what to be more embarrassed/confused about, that i lost my underwear or that i woke up covered in fried rice
Hot or not, she’s from Boston. It’s hard to nut when she sounds like Mark Wahlberg
Randomize
