I just found out she jerks off to lesbian porn too honest to god
you wouldn't believe how perfect a match this is its scary
I'm at work and it's 1:30. I need a beer. is that bad?
Welcome to every minute of my life.
i was just outside smoking and i saw a hooker sing "i wish i knew who your daddy was" to her new born baby. someone explain to me why i ever left chicago to go to college...
Breakfast of vicodin and eggs out of a solo cup at about three in the afternoon on a wednesday...I have my life together
They are pre-gaming a trip to congress...not sure how politically correct the group is.
I'm out of vodka and money. My semester is officially over. The way I see it, my finals are just forms I need to fill out in order to leave campus.
Condom broke. Took her to CVS for plan B and parked in expectant mothers spot. I laughed.. she cried
he's werid. hell kiss me after i go down on him but he wont kiss me after i eat anything with mustard.
i watched you ride a mechanical penis. nothing is awkward between us anymore.
Well I disagree, 3 different men in my bed over my birthday was the perfect way to say goodbye to my childhood innocence
Is there a law against that?
Nope not at all. Just morals. But fuck it, this is college, not real life.
I just hit the bong during the whole bday song then blew the candles out with my exhale.
Highlight of the week: I had sex with a B movie star wearing an eye patch.
i also remember watching someone vomit off a balcony which was kind of grim
So... he's my second cousin's step-bro... To do or not to do?
Randomize
