You know you have a problem when the only thing that saves you is that you drank so late into the night that you sleep through the designated walk of shame time window
I kind of wish I was already fat. So I could eat all I want and not worry about getting fat. Cause I'd already be at that point.
i have a real life question, do ur boyfriends pretend to be vampires ever?
Dude with the Beatles haircut just got his pilots license and wants to take us up to do a case race mid flight. Don't tell me networking is unnecessary.
just 'accidentally' changed my relationship status to 'in an open relationship' just to see what offers I might get if I were to dump him. it's not looking good
Mom just texted me to see if it was you who was streaking at the Mariner game... Did you accept yet another $1 bet?
You were walking around in your swim suit, an open robe, snow boots and a death grip on that handel of captain morgan.
And by go well you mean everyone's hammered right?
Yupp. And someone's bleeding
I'm totally wasted about to ride water slides. That's goddamn 'Merican. That and Clint Eastwood.
The bar tenders gave me the number for a "taxi"... It's just a dude with a van. In retrospect, pretty sketchy. Robert was cool though.
That guy has been pretty randomly in and out of my vagina for 4 years...I don't think I'm required to tell him when I'm dating.
Good point.
sex in a hospital.. check
That makes sense.. A good Bj is a trump card in any argument
I feel like my entire body is ashamed of me today
You're a god amongst men today
I can't be a daydrinker without you. It just doesn't work.
I love you too.
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