Well you are. Awfully cute even. Like baby bunnies. And tiny, tiny penises. You know.
Yeah he doesn't get it. We had to change the subject to Keanu reeves before someone got hurt.
we knew we'd be okay when we walked up to the dealers house and he asked us to please be quiet as to not wake his nana.
The nurse who basically saved my life just came into the store. Didn't recognize her. Awwwwkward.
that's like... drinking popov and saying its the worlds best vodka. you gotta try some others first. THERE SHOULD BE A MISS AMERICA PAGEANT. but like, mr penis. and they can do tricks and make unintelligent remarks and wear sparkly condoms.
he was inside of, then got up said "we don't want you having a baby," grabbed his car keys and left. so now i'm just sitting on his bed, wondering if he's coming back.
the amount of chicks and firearms here is unnerving. this will end awesomely or at the morgue.
my roommates tied me up with rope and duct tape then left me outside the door to the hot girls' suite on my floor, knocked on the door and ran away leaving me there with a sign that says free
Excuse me, but I got friendzoned and all I could think about was the fact that I didn't have my underwear back on yet.
I just hit on a guy in a doughnut store... is that too suggestive?
My bank account got hacked so he showed up with a 6 pack wearing a superman cape to cheer me up and you question why I love him?
I'd let you fuck my husband in the future, that's how much I love you
apparently I got pissed off that no one would let me spray them with a bottle of champagne at midnight of the new year. so I sprayed myself with one shirtless in the near freezing cold outside
Truth. Though I have held steadfast to the notion while the rest of you wavered. I had faith in his homosexuality.
shots, cocks, socks. bingo
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