I thought it was weird that her dad told me to finish and get out after he walked in on us. I like him
Girls don't like it when you cum inside them and then discuss baby names.
He upper decked the toilet, got himself lit on fire 6 times and lit 4 other people on fire in the course of 3 days.
you want your laptop back?
are you giving me my laptop back, or cashing in on our break up sex?
both.
come over.
Some girl at the bar was showing us her chipped tooth as a pick up line.
I just called him "young grasshopper" in a conversation. THIS is why I don't get numbers when I'm sober
You force fed me chocolate chips and avocados for 3 hours and kept asking me about my trip to sweden when I was 4.
One step ahead. Always. Roses are red, violets are blue... I'm gonna fuck you with a rake.
do we own a ladder
We do not.
then how am i on the roof
I just want to fuck you then discuss implications of our existence afterwards. Then Doritos and hot tub.
Well, our assistant supervisor caught us on the back stairs...he invited us on a double date with his fiance and him. I guess our job approves of the relationship?
Now that mom and dad sold the camper, do you think it's okay to talk about all the sex I had in it?
THEN YOU WILL NOT GET TO SEE MY TITS TONIGHT OR IN THE NEAR FUTURE YOU HEARTLESS BASTARD
Just found a rebirth in peppermint schnapps. May be able to stay up all night and finish this paper after all. MERRY CHRISTMAS
I'll seduce him with my charm, after all, I am a graceful swan.
More like a demented cow.
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