Sorry I wasn't really responding earlier. I was really fucking high and so into that car chase.
just found preset five on the shower head...pretty sure my pussy just had a panic attack
On the bright side I got 500 American Express points paying for the abortion
And a psychic told me I was pregnant and I am just so over life right now.
I don't remember much of last night. But I woke up with very apologetic texts from him this morning so apparently I didn't get laid. Which is stupid.
I'm hiding in a cabinet. I'm going to stay here.
I'm not pregnant. Security came before he could.
I think we might have a drinking problem when the ASU kids called us crazy
No one made them take a shot with us at the 12 hour mark. That's their bad
Opened the browser on my phone to a web search for midget birth rates per capita. A good night.
You are lucky that I'm drunk. Otherwise I would bone you into another universe
I bought emergency contraception until I / we decide how to handle that. And target gave me a gift receipt for it. Awkward.
I just woke up hand cuffed to the bar and shirtless, so yeah I think I need you to come get me.
you pulled out seven eyelashes and made me count them multiple times whilst crying hysterically.
Someone's gotta tell him drunk sex comes before dating
He passed out while I was riding him but stayed hard long enough for me to orgasm. He definitely earned the blow job I’m going to wake him up with in the morning!
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