didnt we say no more talking to eachother
it will help you get over me i promise
im horny
ok i will unlock the door
My New Years Resolution was to get a girl I dont know pregnant. 8 months later I can check that off the list..
Planned Parenthood should have gift certificates.
Theyr drawing diagrams to try to explain to me how high they are
He's used the term "balls deep" 3 times in the first hour. Thanks a lot, Plenty of Fish.
Ok. Here's the plan. Take your hand (whichever is closest), summon all your nerve, and just stick it right down his pants.
I love you.
It was one of those nights where you get back from the bar and end up staying up till 3AM beating off to facebook photos of girls from college
Matt's offering to breast feed it.
I remember puking but I don't remember where. PSA: don't go barefoot around the house
I made out with a guy so that I could get ahead in the bathroom line, totally acceptable
She said to call her, so I called her. Her boyfriend answered and traced the fucking call. I could litterally hear him yell because it turns out he lives in 4d
Don't you live in 4c?
Just had an emotional break through with the dog. That high.
Well I just masturbated while reading a recipe for Alfredo sauce so I guess you could say I’m growing up
You don't make any sense
TEQUILA
So I was having a really bad night...so I decided to steal a pumpkin.
Randomize
