I think scott just propositioned me for sex
Redeem this text for a blowjob
Just because we had intercourse doesn't mean we're friends.
there needs to be a build-a-bong store...
Girl next to me in class just said to her friend "and I haven't even cried yet." Challenge accepted
i just remembered last night waiting for you to pick me up wearing my bra on my head to protect me from the rain
just went to my meeting with last nights make up still on, not wearing a bra, and the 14 shot tallies still on my wrist.. My advisor's questions should be answered as to why I'm not in my major yet.
he tried breathing fire using moonshine and a roman candle. would not have believed it unless i actually witnessed it.
Did I run away from you last night?
Yeah it was a great moment for our friendship
I swear to god, my hangover cure is a green tea and a 15 minute twerkout. works every time
I just googled: how soon can I pee on a stick. What is my life coming to.
Are you 5:30 blackout again?
Dude, seriously, fucking stop introducing me as "Thomas, with the dick piercing." you are the worst wingman ever.
She actually made an event on facebook for tomorrow when she does a pregnancy test, 8 people are attenting so far
We got stoned and watched Disney movies all night. I think I'm in love.
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