is swine flu sexually transmttd?
Ha no, why?
sriously ive never had a hangovr this bad
alone in the kitchen at 4 am eating a hotdog.
.....so he has a son. Josh. That is not his roommate
I just saw a girl wearing a flannel shirt that would make 1992 cringe
cab driver says "I saw your friend who opens her legs. she went home with two guys." pretty sure he was talking about you
I'm playing the Jersey Shore drinking game by myself at my mom's house. Things like this are not okay after college.
Just whacked off in the middle of writing a paper, gave me great ideas. Note, should do this more often.
My mom just found some of our lube mixed in with my box of pots and pans. I hate moving home.
I just heard my parents fuck. What. The. Fuck. My rooms right under theirs.. My dad barely even lasted a minute. Im almost ashamed..
he said good things come in small packages and I decided to hook up with someone else
No it's only my right leg that feels like it's about to fall off. The left is fine.
Aka reading hardcore gay robot porn as a steady trickle of elementary schoolers walk by me every so often and im still in uniform as there councilor
Who is also still dressed up as a pirate
The angle I tried to shoot a load on her face was unfortunate. I accidentally came on the David Bowie tribute she had out. Oddly, that made it more erotic.
I need you to teach me how to be roommates with somebody I'm not fucking.
Remember when I puked into a mesh garbage can in the middle of a meeting and told the clients it was "morning sickness"?
hahah yep
Well the are flying back here, it's been like 10 months, should I frame fake baby pics in my office?? Or too much?
Randomize
