This is clearly one of those "A hole's a hole" situations
Those strippers last night smelled great. It was the perfect mixture of vanilla and daddy issues.
I hate it when hot girls behave. It's so anticlimactic
I just found $40 in the jeans I wore last night. PS I also found the jeans I wore last night.
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doing lines of blow through a tampon applicator in the study lounge at 7am so i can finish an italian composition that was due a week and a half ago...such a good student.
He bought me a flower. He's totally getting head every day for a week.
So there's dick imprints in the peanut butter
OH YEAH AND FORGOT TO THANK YOU FOR THE lack of WARNING THAT HE WASN'T CIRCUMSIZED.
she found out just an hour ago that she might have cervical cancer. either way we're watching 50/50 and taking a shot of patron anytime anyone says cancer.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How did you get a free t-shirt at the strip club?
I was attacked by whores
You threw up on yourself again didn't you?
They were strong whores
Then I hope you find a set of extremely intelligent, flexible triplets in the ethnicity of your choice.
That is the nicest thing anyone has ever wished for me
You tried to pay for our cab with the 2 dollars you got from selling your natty ice outside the strip club.
I don't know which is worse, the fact that his name is Kevin or the fact that he has a pornstache.
She was so happy for me that she insisted I fuck her with my Bills jersey on. THAT ACCOMMODATING
Never drinking before a 6am train again. Just threw up at boarder control and had to pretend it was cause I was pregnant and not cause I trashed.
You make Europe seem so glamorous.
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