its good she wears the same dress to all the weddings so we can track how fat she's really gotten
so glad i banged her when she was skinny
She actually asked me 'is it in yet?' I deleted the vid.
All I wanna do is sit in water and get drunk. The only thing more American is giving birth to eagles.
I just got asked if I have a rule for sleeping with people. Like they have to buy me dinner first etc...
On that note, do I have a rule?
I'm really good at handling things like foreskin and speech impediments.
Who's nuvaring is under my pillow?
Double vision is so hot when a big dick is in sight. Thank you Bud Light.
So the " I'm gay but curious" thing worked. You owe me 50 bucks.
FACE TIME HER WHILE YOU GUYS BANG
So from zero to dumpster fire, how shitty do you feel this morning? I'm hovering somewhere around trainwreck.
Only I could turn my one night stands into class essays. Go me.
I shall relish in being the most basic of bitches
I had just gotten to his place and was about to get some dick. No way was I gonna let her negative attitude affect my orgasm feng shui
According to my bank account I spent a penny some where
I smell of tequila and Im going to a funeral. This is my life.
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