Operation extremely regretful is in full effect
She was so bad on top that i found myself watching a TV that wasn't even turned on
I just had a cup of orange juice and thought it didnt taste right. It didnt have vodka in it.
It feels like Jesus smacked me in the face with the new testament for drinking so much last night
One blow job doesn not make me gay.
It's pretty bad that I know he's opening his door from the way it squeaks because I have snuck out of his room so many times this semester...
Its... i dont even know. theres lots of rap music and i cant find my shoes
Hell hath no fury like a woman whose gay sidekick you insult
did you know the cops in wilco have clean up kits in their cars for when people puke in them? i found this out this morning. i'm finishing paperwork now. come get me plz?
Tequila ran out around 11 so she let them do body shots of chips and guacamole instead
How do I have sand in my vagina if we were an hour away from the beach?
Well, at some point in her life every girl has to decide how much weird she's willing to tolerate for hot tall banker cock
I swear she is the Mary Poppins of drugs
Learning to live poor pretty well. Cashed in all the coins in my car for nearly 60 bucks and yelled at a Pizza Hut manager, insisting I have a free pizza credit, until he just gave me a pizza.
He has a penis. Therefore, he counts.
Randomize
