When we were fucking, you could hear the beer sloshing around in my stomach
no one is going to fuck you in a field of bunnies
how many days can you live off of Vicodin and frosty?? im going on 4 days......
Can we please not be like these pathetic people in their thirties who only get drunk when they go see Sherrill Crow?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it was like, one of those nights where you keep going back to the fridge because you just can't get full. except, with sex.
We decided we needed a drinks fridge in our bathroom.
We still going to Happy Hour
Idk. I can't because it doesn't fit in my schedule of sleeping or throwing up
you don't know true fear until you are a convinced that velociraptors are trying to kill you through your roof.
Are taco bell cups microwave safe? I can't make that judgement right now
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
stop calling me dude. finger blasting me officially kills you being able to call me dude.
I need to hump something and I know u understand.
No Bryan wants to get drunk, rub inappropriate dudes legs, talk about my vagina and send me pics of his boomerang dick. That's not how you watch basketball.
That's how he does EVERYTHING!
It's always appealing to be able to say to someone "I banged your mom"
he called me ma'am when we were fucking last night...he's five years older than me. I think I'm in love.
That’s all I need in life: vibrators, butt plugs, strawberry lube, and sour gummies
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