im pretty sure i just saw someone trying to catch a fish with his penis
is it appropriate to call someone “ a tasty piece of bitch?” This is time sensitive.
whats the proper etiquette for returning a closet door to a random girl you met and do not know her name?
his genitalia just looks like a thumbs up. a really really small thumbs up.
She texted me shhh....im drunk, secret booty call...how could i say no?
I feel like somebody ate me, then shit me into my bed.
Lesson learned. Kayak oars are not golf clubs....check
theres 2 cans of open Campbell's soup on the counter and a note that says "guess which one is puke" ... want lunch?
I found us a new booze connection and I'm writing college admissions essays. The future is bright.
That's the 2nd med student that has had his tongue in my butthole, what gives.
She rode me wearing nothing but a Santa hat. Merriest fucking Christmas!
Woke up with a pineapple again... where do i keep on getting these ??
On this version of “Dean Can’t Be a Normal Fucking Human,” I told a guy I’d shove a tv up his ass. Recreationally.
Plasma, LED or OLED?
I don’t know what language he speaks but I know my boobs will translate just fine
I’m looking forward to few days of international relations
Well, we went shopping. He bought me starbucks and ate me out in the change room at target. If that isnt the best post covid first date, I don't know what is
Randomize
