I realized that I've made out with a different boy almost every time we've gone to mcgoreys....I don't need a boyfriend...I have that bar
You've had your dick in my mouth. I don't think there are all that many barriers in our friendship at this point.
I love flavors. My neighbour is owide smoking and so am I. I'm adio boooooored and I need an adult.
So were u tired or drunk when u wrote last night's text message?
pills.
I found him in bed on a pullout couch with another dude. He had two empty puke buckets and his empty bottle of jagermeister right by his head.
in the middle of fucking he asked me if i had gotten a haircut because he noticed i didnt have split ends anymore. i dont know what to think
I dont know but I had two different hospital bands and half a pie when i woke up.
Mother fucker, I knew it was bad when you tried making out with my car window
She legitimately thought I was hiding in the fridge, then she checked the second one to be sure
Lets play a game called: how out of it are you today? Let me know if you can beat driving on the wrong side of the road twice and walking up two extra flights of stairs just because you weren't paying attention to what floor you are on....
Let's go dancing. I wanna sprain an ankle. And a labia. My labia or yours. I'm not picky.
Got another job?
If by job you mean clever way of getting free tattoos, then yes. I got another job.
I'm just impressed that you can puke without losing your gum
HE MIGHT HAVE YOUR BUTTHOLE, BUT HE CANT HAVE YOUR HEART. THATS MINE.
I'm sorry about the fire. I was too fucked up to do science, apparently.
Next time I say "i forgot to eat dinner, oh well" before drinking STRAP ME TO A CHAIR AND FORCE FEED ME BEFORE ALLOWING ME TO CONSUME BOOZE
Randomize
