Going back to my hometown to drink absinthe with highschool boys. Remind me to evaluate this decision tomorrow.
DAMN! I hate it when i drunkenly erase all my "sent message" and wake up in the morning and my inbox is full of "WTF?" and "Huh?" messages.
Not good, Ive never been this late. We need to talk.
Error 1684C: You're last text was undeeliverable. Subscriber is our to the aera.
PS- did you die? If you did just text "dead" to me, so that I know.
felt a little awkward waiting for my McNuggets after vomiting all over the counter
You act like this is the first time i've fingered two 17 year olds at the same time
So when you said you wanted to make a clay replica of my boobs and hang it above your bed you actually meant it?
I could run a drunk marathon in heels
He managed to crash an entire train of shopping carts into a wall. I think he noticed my implants.
Of the 4 nights I've gone downtown this week, I've been "piss in the parking lot" drunk 5 times
I had to hose off vomit off my driveway at 9 am.....so hot
At least be KIND OF sobering up before you text me, I've told you before I don't speak vodka unless I've been drinking it with you.
PS WHY wasn't I drinking it with you? Dick.
One of the worst parts about living at my parents again is trying to hide how often I'm hungover, just quietly puked in the basement bathroom while my mom got ready for work
We did hand stuff while watching teenage mutant ninja turtles so I guess you could say it's getting serious
We are so disgustingly codependent and I wouldn't have it any other way
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