that was a gay-test. you passed.
with flying rainbow colors i hope!
I just caught myself dancing like an old lady in the shower. Have I reached the age where booty dancing stops and swaying of the upper body begins?
Grown men dancing to Spice Girls and a girl wearing one shoe. I belong here
Fucked her within an inch of her life. Seriously. Don't choke bitches when they ask. Was way too drunk to be pulling that shit.
Sophomore year, I fucked on your desk chair. I'm sorry. I love you.
on a scale of 1 to 'no sex' how busy are you this week?
accidentally stumbled into a construction site at 3am on the way home. The bulldozer was locked so we had to settle for rerouting traffic with all the orange cones...
Don't worry, I'm preparing for tonight by lining my purse with a garbage bag.
Unfortunately hes not a hipster douchebag with no life goals, so naturally I'm not interested.
Do pleather leggings scream im easy on a first date?
I'm getting better, this year I only showed up drunk to 1 final.
First things first, I always get more drunk than the birthday girl. Like, who's idea was it to sing karaoke? I killed it.
In other news, I’ve officially fucked a grandpa.
He ate me out on a washing machine in the 24 hour laundromat. Whoever watches that security camera footage is getting a show!
I refuse to take any type of advice let alone love advice from a motherfucker who is missing 3 fingers from a Fucked up masturbating accident.
Randomize
