i think i just puked on my phone
we live great lives
theres a boy scout troop on my plane. right now theyre playing wilderness games. let me just tell you how excited i am to hit on all of them
I had a dream once that juice was flowing out of my kitchen faucet
we had you propped up in a chair and fed you donuts. i've never seen you happier
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I saw the video from Saturday. So, how much did I drink for me to think I was a duck and strip my clothes?
we found you standing over and eating out of my neighbor's garbage can
we were fucking and all I could think about is how my silly bands were glowing in the dark.
I spent the whole party making out with some guy. He wasn't that cute but six of my sorority sisters are fighting over him so I had to do something..
if drunk means calling me and asking to borrow the game of life at 2am then I think you were drunk
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Please brint me miilk. I am on the floor but my door is open. Thank you, i appreciate u verry much.
I was stalking his twitter and saw that he used punctuation in a hashtag. Thank god we didn't work out because I can't be with someone that incompetent
You fell asleep mid blowjob with my vibrator in your HAND. So no, I will not bring you pizza.
I just wanna be able to fart and do my homework but he won't leave
just because you have a nice tits it doesn't make you a magic little snowflake.
how much do I hate his dog? was just googling to see if you can rent a hungry eagle for the weekend hate.
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