Kicked off drink for Jesus month by puking in my mouth while talking to my priest...real cool
so how does one go about finding a summer fling?
take advantage of an intern
Picture Ja Rule and 50 Cent having a sexy full grown love child son...He's on my bus right now, wearing an outside jacket with no shirt underneath. My fashion sense and libido are fighting it out.I'll keep you posted on who wins.
well my last 2 orgasms were over shoe sales at macy's. what does that tell you?
How do I recover from singing "your body is a wonderland" on his voicemail?
im looking at burger kings website. there isnt one anywhere close to where we were last night. i think it was sent from heaven
Do you know anything about the Easter basket sitting on my doorstep filled with porn and peeps?
Currently behind the bar at some asian place, pouring drinks for everyone with a snake around my neck
He stumbled into my room, flopped on my bed, shoes on my pillow and asked me for a juice box. Then fell asleep with the juice box on his forehead.
Totally uneven. One tiny pussy lip that almost didn't exist and one giant lip that unfurled liked 5 different times half way down her leg and could have been used to hoist the mainsail on a pirate ship.
There's a chance I told a cop that I was ready for him to strip I may have even taken some ones out of my purse and stuck them in his holster
Please tell your sister I apologize about saying her baby may have beef curtains. That was inappropriate.
But I don't see you as the jesus riding a dinosaur with a machine gun type of guy
i woke up this morning with a fake eyeball in my pocket
How is there a hawk inside this house? More importantly how the hell is he handling it without any gear?
Randomize
