It was unlikely that the relationship was going to end with anything other than antibiotics.
The douche that always wears spandex at the gym just walked into class with a dick going into his mouth drawn on his face. The professor said "rough night" and he still has no idea. Tyring to get a pic
Like if god were to send me a cock shot, that's what it would look like.
8$ liquor pitchers. I'm gonna wear two or three pairs of underwear so when drunk me takes them off there'll still be a pair on.
I dont think she was a real nurse but she was good at it. wish I rememebrd her name
I cannot for the life of me remember why I am holding this rabbit.
The pigeons can smell the fear
Wtf
My mom is currently out with her lesbian friends and I'm home alone drunk listening to the Les Miserables soundtrack. WHY DO I FEEL THE NEED TO COMPETE WITH HER?
He kept asking for nudes so I sent him a picture another guys dick. He called me ruthless.
I was doing karaoke to "baby got back" and apologizing for being white at the same time.
I don't know if dry shampoo will fix the decisions we made last night.
You have no concept of how high I am, do you?
I guess you never know how much of an impact you have on someone until you sleep with their cousin
You're supposed to discourage my sluttiness not bring me hot Colombian men
She just took all of the blankets in the house and threw them in the yard, because 'the grass was cold'..
Randomize