it took you forty minutes to realize it was a gay bar.
You were crying and asking his mom "why doesn't he like road head?"
are you still mad that doritos made their way into my sex life
.....a litte
He fucked me so hard I had an asthma attack. I'm like the sickly poster child for celibacy.
Yea I saw a friend of yours carrying your limp body somewhere
I am here to underwhelm you with my vagina
Best feedback on my performance so far: "There are things that can't be unseen."
Shit my boyfriend's roommate thinks thinks: I love getting woken up to the sound of my roommate getting a blowjob
I want you to get off the plane and get directly into my pants
Just had my first american. He tasted like freedom.
I think he should just go away to a small penis island and never come back
I just dominated some guy while wearing your moms thong
Fuck the walk of shame. I make this shit glorious.
The fact that you arent wearing shoes probably just adds to the classiness
Condom wrapper stuck to my shirt ups the anty
I can always count on you to keep my boobs honest
Like sorry your dick won’t suck itself?
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