playing new game: drink everytime u see someone at the beach with a tramp stamp, double if u guess it before u see it, triple for male tramp stamps
warning: blackouts possible when playing in ocean city or anywhere in new jersey
I wish you got a notification every time someone masturbated to a Facebook picture of you...
Still at the library. i hate tax accounting so much that i've started calling it potions...
Between cock and motorcycle I'm glad I don't have to sit at work tomorrow
If we could never, ever tell mike i pissed in his closet, that would be really really great
I'm pretty sure it all started going downhill last night when they suggested I see how much sambuca I could fit in my mouth
Pissing in la rieve gfox. Jer zsyuis diu drunk but it felt amazunbg
Dans le librearie ivetre. Hjhaha
I would not wish his dick upon my worst enemy
Night is still young. Puking guts out part of it just began
I used that money i stole from the stripper last night to pay for my date tonight.
Literally just napped at strip club. Don't know how long
And tan into my neighbor in the elevator. She was going to the gym. I was covered in mascara and dog hair eating a hash brown
Had a dream I went to Disney to visit you and then I got really drunk and puked all over these little kids in line
The cop asked me why my pants were around my knees when he woke me from the sink, i replied "Officer, my underwear is still on, nothing bad happened" then he nodded in acknowledgement and we carried on with the paper work.
The highlight of my week is I found some hetero porn I didn't completely hate. Branching out.
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