I looked at my own cervix.
i spent 15 mins trying to take money out of ATM with my drivers license saying, "what the fuckkkk" everytime it didnt work
If your pregnant with his baby maybe we can start getting weed for free.
dude you need a shock collar for some of the things you say when you're drunk.
I don't know bro, all I could remember is that he kept saying hallelujah and calling that girl Slutimus Prime
Why did I just get a ziplock baggie labeled "2010" on it from you in the mail?
We can't BOTH have terrible sex lives. Get fucked or throw him out.
It's meant to be, Cynthia. You, him, and your developed breasts are meant for each other.
It was at the same house, but a different party, when lesbians set me on fire. So there's that.
She asked if she should pack the condoms, I told her I plan on drinking so much that it won't be possible.
The part of "Dave" will now be played by "Rob." Rob, why don't you unzip and show Dave why that is.
yeah, i'm probably gonna die. still gonna be totally worth it tho
So, Kevin dropping me off at urgent care. Seems my tampon slipped out of reach. Even after he tried to get it out with some kitchen tongs.
I CAN'T FALL IN LOVE WITH SOMEONE WHO HAS A LISP. I JUST CAN'T.
Okay I’ll say it... THIS MOVIE FUCKS
That’s probably the first time I've heard Little Women described that way and I love it
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