I woke up this morning in your mom's car... any ideas?
is it gross that my labia hangs so much that guys can't find my clit?
I don't think its a good idea if I moon a whole bar again
What's the point of having 3 fuck buddies when their periods all seem to sync up
They refer to his house as "the abortion clinic". Cant wait.
I come back home for break and my room is full of weed either my parents really love me or they are having more fun then I am in college
i have 90 minutes to kick this food poisoning or josh's first experience with buttsex will be his last
Nobody in the ambulance liked me...
I'm not pregnant. Security came before he could.
So red wine goes with eggs, right? Because that's all I have in the house to cook and the drinking options are either wine or scotch
he's been dating her for 18 months and cheating on her with me for 16. if that's not commitment, i don't know what is.
I want you
Nvm, now I want someone who replies to my booty-call texts faster
He's making me do the dishes for the next month and half because I shit in the bath tub...
At Target. Everyone is stocking up on food and flashlights for this storm. I stocked up on beer. Dont judge me, it was on sale...
I love you, but seriously, that was way too long a thesis on an Arby’s curly fry being wrapped around schlong!
Randomize
