when you close your eyes do you see, that mystical creature will be me.
who is this?
Yea and his cousin visited from central and i fucked her i was texting him at work teasin him about it but sent it to his mom by accident
He scratched off my spray tan. Literal nail marks down my back. Can't imagine what's underneath his fingernails.
If you hear screaming in the middle of the night, bat got loose. Call poison control immediately and explain rabies
Drinking games this Saturday as usual although the ice cube tray game is banned due to last weeks incident
so exactly what is concert sex etiquette? Before, during or after???
all of the above
You flew out of the bedroom, stole two Solo cups from the beer pong table, put them on your feet, clicked your heels together three times
He's on the bus now and took off his Amish hat so just his long ginger beard is present. Goodbye, majestic Amish ginger. Go forth and represent your minority well.
We really shouldn't need this many nicknames for the women you've had sex with.
2015 is a year for health and mental stability and alas we are not yet there so yolo
Dude I just realized i did a camper walk of shame in front of amish people. I should have asked for cheese and a home made pie to cover it up. Im just lost shopping in amish country nothing to see here
Where the hell did you pick this girl up? She just licked my cat and stole our last poptart.
Of two things I'm absolutely sure: 1. I only took 2 hits off that joint and 2. I definitely ran over hedwig on the way home
Dude, I just feel great. I love life so much and I love you. Love. Love. So much love.
Omg I got up from his bed and almost did a header into the wall because I came so many times I forgot how to walk.
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