Note to self: When getting ready to leave with a kid in a wheelchair don't say Let's roll
First off: I'm drunk so fuck you. Second: you weren't a bad girlfriend. Tres: thats 3 in spanish. Number 4: fuck 3 Doors Down
And then he asked me why the subtitles were in Arabic. The television was off.
Just because you're using the Hipstamatic app for your nude photo taking, it doesn't make your drunken blowjob pics any classier.
You both must have been completely wasted because every once in a while we would hear you both stop and start singing to each other. At one point it was taylor swift.
Shes been standing with her arms crossed in front of the mirror for 45 minutes...she told me she's "getting sober"
he proceeded to grab my vagina through my leggings in the middle of the dance floor. strangely enough I was okay with it
I would compare it to a jeffrey but in smoothie form. More drugs in here than Bobby Brown's sock drawer.
My period started right as he was entering, which really helped me sell the "I've never done this before" bit.
Watermelon juice. Makes everything better. Gin. Wine. EVERYTHING.
He told me my outfit made me look like a twelve year old then proceeded with "but you don't look like a whore"
I'm keeping track of how many times I've said "Shhh, act like you're not naked." in my life. So far, 3 times.
jut tell him gently that you'd rather spend more time with his dick than his face
i spent most of my hangover doing the math to figure out the last of the alcohol would be metabolized from my system.
thank you pre-med degree.
Is talking to an iron man poster a good or bad indicator that you've been drinking too much?
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