I think my emotional moodswings have reached a new low. I cried for the entire duration of changing my tampon.
Nights like last night are what makes cleaning up the vomit in the morning worth it
Covered in glitter and dick. 2010 feels a lot like 2009.
What? Cold floors are soothing when you have a hangover. How am I supposed to pass that up. Even if I'm at my parents house
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
all i remember is stealing his cheesepuffs and shaving my vagina in the hotel lobby
Two words. Shotgunning Cognac.
This has already gotten way out of hand
I have to stop envisioning penises as dragons.
I have their Unicorn picture in my shirt, and I just threw a Bud Light Platinum bottle through their window. We need to go now.
I know everytime I get my paycheck I'm like "I should probably renew my gym membership" and then I just buy more alcohol
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He kept humping my leg and whispering "dont worry, thats my phone not my penis"
You tried to wave to Meg on Family Guy and got upset because she wasn't waving back
Told him my main goal was to seduce the man and convince him to leave his wife for me. He didn't argue just asked me to let him know if I succeeded so he didn't waste anymore time not sleeping with the secretary at his office. I have an incredible boyfriend.
He's perfect in every other way. Is buying him a cockring too forward or just honest?
They think I fractured my spine while doing your cousin on concrete.
well you're talking to a woman who had glorious sex less than 24 hrs ago so my opinion is biased.
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