FYI, if you pee in my bed (or even let R___ and E___ sleep in it), I will fart loudly during your wedding vows. Trust.
I told him that all frat guys do it... it was that easy to get him to go down on me.
Sry I left before you woke up. The house was really fucked up and I didn't feel like helping you clean. PS Somebody threw up on your dog
You should get with him and swear you have to use lambskin condoms. That'll test his veganism.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
tanning, a slurpee, and a cigarette. spa day college edition
I am not being the messenger for your booty call.
I spoon fed you cheerios when you were black out drunk. You owe me one.
If I wasn't stoned and knee deep in cheese and crackers I'd help.
Did he think I was flirting with him when I ordered a hot dog bc no
Dinner at 5, shrooms at 10.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he called me 'mate' and i had to remind him that you dont call people mate who continously make your dick hard
You know darned well I have a well-documented weakness for redheads, Subway and hand-drawn graphic novels.
Okay. So did I kiss you last night? I know that I made out with someone. Or a few someones. But I'm pretty sure that I made out with you. Was that real life?
Apparently I'm some kind of sexual camel.
I blacked out in the cab last night... Cant remember getting in the front door, also i got into bed with my grandma.
gonna stay in tonight
and im a platypus. shotgun a beer and get your dick to this party. ive got some hot friends visiting
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