watching jon and kate + 8 right now is like watching my parents split up
Well that's not true. She had two social skills. She kept them in her bra
Where does it all go? I've busted inside of you like 10 times in the last week.
We're the kind of people who ruin family vacations
look what he's done to me, i actually want to be a stripper now.
He threw up in the campfire, the alcohol in his puke caught on fire. Im marrying this man
You just squeezed a person out of you and I'm drunks at 2PM. Our lives got traded and you know it and you're jealous.
That was obviously his first time talking dirty. He called my vagina "pretty"
It's been a long time since I got "Talk about Glen's enormous penis" drunk
Still dying that you shit outside
When I'm drunk I really like to hold dicks. Like, affectionately.
All I can think about are the cheese it's on my desk at work this morning. Like are those apologetic cheese it's or does he seriously think he still has a shot..
I didn't want sex last night, but she charmed my dick out of my pants like a snake charmer.
Wanna have a sleepover and take me to court in the morning?
That was the first time I ever heard of a female getting road head while driving... thanks for the memory and making me happy ending..
Randomize
