A little girl and i are having a face making battle in mcdonalds
She started it, but I totally finished it.
): 100 percent naked, unless you count a tiara as clothing.
It was honestly like finding a clitoris in a haystack.
There's going to be a pool, lightsabers and alcohol. What could go wrong?!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well right now I am watching him use the fire extinguisher off the pourch.
'Well you know, stuff happens' isn't really an excuse for sticking a cheeto in my ear
She told me to act like the hulk during sex. Shit got 9 different shades of weird
make that a herd of moose. they will be my moose minions
That is cause you are some weird type of mutant that lives off of Alcohol.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I see your boobs were ready to greet the new year.
he couldn't get a boner so he asked me to sing you shook me all night long to his penis. I think it was weirder that it actually worked
Someone called asking about the gate code and I said "hashtag" for # instead of "pound." Ugh. I feel so dirty.
if you and your penis don't hurry up, I'm getting drunk without you.
I got home and he was wearing a suit. He said he reason was because it was shirt and tie Saturday and that he won't change until midnight. He then proceeded to answer the door in a British accent.
He eats kale on the regular. Do I look like a bitch that wants to eat kale. No. Give me some Boston market.
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