What ever happened to making out with a few boob grabs here and there?
just got out of a noise viloation because the cop recognized my roomate as his favorite chipotle burrito roller. just another reason I love ritos
one of the cashiers from Kroger is eating at my kitchen table and nobody knows why.
I want to apologize in advance in the event I put my boobs in your face
Before you become official, we should get a hotel room and fuck our brains out. Sort of like a going away party for your penis.
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i loe djcudia fjxos rue.
can you blow me for old times sake
only for old times sake
You get drunk and try to bury your girlfriend in the sand JUST ONCE and all hell breaks loose
I'm doing shots of jagger in dixi cups and making a lesson plan for my 8th grader summer school class. My life is so close to adulthood I can taste it
I like it when Amish boys stare at my boobs, even tho I can't tell if it's in appreciation or disgust. Rumspringa, mothafuckers.
His encouragement of my recreational drug use is the backbone of our nonrelationship. That, and rough animal sex and loud music.
She didn't complain to the library attendant about us being too loud. She complained after you grabbed her highlighter off the table to stir vodka into your tumbler with.
Trust me. My dick only does selfies for you.
And he's back on taking these stupid testosterone supplements to kickstart him back into working out. And they just make him angry and horny all the time. I'm like great, just in time to meet my whole family for Christmas.
I was in line at Panera when I got the pic you sent to your coworker. I just showed your vag to a soccer mom. The vibrator was a nice touch.
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