so i know my style isnt the best ever but u should have told me i was wearing two different shoes
he quoted Bring It On. It's over.
I showed my boss the "She Wolf" video. He sent it to all his friends and told me to make us martinis...thanks Shakira and keep it up
i just used burnetts to get spraypaint off the floor of my dorm lobby
Do you think if Santa was real that he's have a big penis?
Well I woke up with a note on me reading Dear Passed Out Girl, and ending with why I shouldn't drink so much. Damn Tequilla.
Like I couldn't describe it to you but if they did a lineup of penises i'd be able to pick it out.
Why Weren't you wearing pants?
because pants are for people with no imagination
I felt that there wouldn't be enough planB and forgiveness to go around
I just googled, "how to do boob makeup" thats the kind of night I wanna have.
I can't even express how horny I am. The English language isn't equipped for what I'm plotting.
One minute we were ordering sandwhiches. The next hes peeing in a trash can yelling at kids about how tv made him this way
she's a drunken disney princess. so basically me if i had a crown and no desire for independence.
It's the kind of dick you travel across the country for
I'M TOO HORNY FOR GRAMMAR!!!
Randomize
