no weekend plans? you're practically married
just without the last name or joint bank account
i'd advise against both
He's getting better. i'm using GuitarHero to teach him how to finger me. My clit = the red tab.
I'm cooking a can of baked beans on the baseboard heater. It is too early in the semester to be this poor.
bad decision saturdays are such a good decision
Attempting to teach the cat how to shake. I need a job.
Seriously man, I'm worried that my dick's going to fall off someday if I keep this up...
i'm about to say screw it and get drunk in the hotel by myself
It's 2 pm, at least sit by the pool...
We need to make boob twerking a thing. I feel like that's why vine was invented
You can't just be this socially awkward and sexually frustrated and jealous as a fucking demon and be expected to stay sober.
I broke her handcuffs. I feel like an animal.
In two separate occurrences, I could have avoided getting my heart broken, and chlamydia, all with a left swipe.
I'm just to the point my give a fucks is so far in the red that I'm going to have to take out a 30yr loan of fucks to repay it
HIS DICK IS GLORIOUS AND I WANT TO RIDE IT TO VALHALLA
I don't just want drugs. I deserve drugs.
this is the second night in a row i've fucked a guy i met on craigslist. and it wasn't even a post for sex. i posted a housing ad. A HOUSING AD
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