Stop everything. They have oreo straws to drink milk with and then you eat the straw. I think i just got turned on by a cookie commercial.
So I just went home and made my own spanx by cutting the legs off of a pair of nylons. I'm either a genius or missed my calling to live in a trailer park.
This could be one of the worst things i've done... The background of her phone is her and her boyfriend.
JAMES WASHOMGTON STATE ATTACKED US
WE'RE FYCKED UL HARDCORW
THE REISLING ATRACEX US
I think their strategy was based on people bein at a beach, seein a rainbow, and havin an orgasm at the same time.
he gave me a new purse full of weed and five boxes of samoas for my birthday. best boyfriend ever.
You know when the three of us hug it out in the alcohol isle in walmart it's gonna be fun.
I mean, I'm twenty four years old and I've never paid for my own drink. You can't say that any of your ex girlfriends boobs are THAT great.
How external is "for external use only"?
Idk man, she was drunker than me and i was sitting there talking to a raccoon about it's broken leg.
For the first time in my life, I may be the most normal person in the room.
Update: I am definitely the most normal person in this room. And the least tattooed.
No. You're getting a Viking funeral and I'm pawning your shit.
How I know that I'm single: when I get a save the date for a wedding & I read "& guest" my first thought was does my bottle of Jack Daniels count.
It figures that the only time one of my videos on Snapchat gets replayed is a video of my Hedonism Bot impression and NOT my nudes
Dear in laws. I am not spending any holidays with you. I dislike your company. A lot.
Randomize
