Let's just have a brief moment of silence for my dignity before we start tonight
kevin brought a 6ft brunette runway model with him tonight. Now, im not sure what the fuck the color of the " i get it, its over, Im ugly" flag is.... but i'll wave it.
we didnt fuck last night. again. seriously, his place is like where dreams go to die.
i just went to use the bathroom this morning and I couldn't because there was someone puking in every stall. i'm going to miss the dorms this summer
All I remember from my 21st is crying because the bouncer made him put his shirt back on
grab my backpack.....its in the fridge
Would love to except that I crashed into a hearse in a funeral procession about an hour ago so I think that pretty much put an end to my day.
No its cool, because I bought a handle of tequila earlier, in case things went south
careful of the bathroom.... theres some drunken ninja turtles in there....
No. No, there is no forgiveness for this. The only way I'm forgiving you for this is if you somehow convince your sister to have sex with me. In her car.
Ok so in the last 18 months I have now driven four different dudes into counseling. I'm like heroin with a vagina.
i need some food
Holy shit I forgot about you stabbing him.
ANNA HAS DISCOVERED EROTIC FANFICTION OF SHARKNADO THIS IS NOT A DRILL
BRING KITTENS I AM A GENIUS
I remember yelling at him telling him that the strippers were "nice people."
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