Leave Me Alone
At least least me cry on your voice mail
Wow, you know I need to stop drinking alone when I pour my drink into my hand and offer it to my dog,
She uses empty wine bottles as book ends. 2 on each side. At least 8 shelves.
apparently there was a flour fight and couch sex...
dude i woke up sitting indian style with my face on the ground and my hand in a bucket of ice.
Seriously, in what other class can the final major discussion be what bar you're going to with your prof?
I'll see ya tonight at your house...and I'm bringing you a special treat that starts with a V and ends with us eventually going to rehab one day.
$150 bar tab covered by these tits. That's now the going rate. Keeping my bra on during sex unless i see the Benjamins.
holy shit i just had sex in a phone booth i so feel young again
he's dressing as a chick for halloween. of course i'm gonna make him get his legs professionally waxed. how is this even a question?
You were drinking whiskey from a beer bottle i dont know what you really expected...
Ah, but I don't wear underwear. Every day is Commando Wednesday.
On your day off do you wanna get wine drunk and take a few episodes of Jerry Springer way too seriously with me?
The playlist was "songs to sing in the shower". I literally got fucked to Footloose.
I broke my wrist trying to give him a blow job...
And this is why we can’t have nice things
Randomize
