he was humming party in the usa while we were having sex.
You text me last night that you invented a new food. Cheese-less grilled cheese. Congrats, you made toast.
I'd give my left nut to see you
don't do that. I like the set
i feel like arbor mist is too classy for that. you need a colt 45
Yeah you're right. The one time when arbor mist is too classy
When she can manipulate the direction of her leg hair, you know its time to leave
I think I'm going to wait until after Halloween to call off the wedding. No need to ruin my favorite holiday.
The doctor asked me what height I fell from to hurt my back.. I answered keg height
She handed me her tooth and asked me to hold it so she could swim.
Maybe the downfall to liking really smart guys is that they're to smart to think about sex all the time.
She looks like she smells of sausage, sunblock and sorrow.
Soo I woke up in the storage room at best western....I dont even know what say
i came so hard i kicked through my windshield
Never let me go online shopping while drunk. I now own 2 baby cribs. I have no children
It's not my fault I make her feel like a Taylor Swift album
I just realized that this is the first time I've ever seen your mom without sucking your cock.
Randomize
