I need to stop researching the drugs I do on Wikipedia. The parts about abuse and dependency hit too close to home
dude all my bootycalls are going to Eclipse tonight... Do I really want it that bad?
Dude. She told me she felt bad for not giving me more blojobs. HOW COULD THAT HAVE GONE BETTER?
Cops do not care. One just laughed and said "precious"
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He woke me up at 3 am kneeling on the floor pissing and yelling, then he passed out and stole my comforter. I want a new roommate...
You know just sitting here carrying on a conversation with a 5 yr old about why there is puke at the landing of the staircase
I said "I am wrapped in the Cocoon Of Comfort! You should go." He started to argue and I yelled "COCOON OF COMFORT!!!" silencing him
To give you an idea, there's a group upstairs trying to break down a door with their fists and heads.
wanna come over? I have movies.
sure, what movies
porn or disney, your choice
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Also, fucking on half deflated air mattresses is a great full body work out.
It's not vacation until I get called "disgustinly sexy" by an fat woman whose older than my mother.
if you go to jail tonight, call call me. i wanna get out of work
I'm starting to notice a direct correlation between blackouts and broken bones...
I'm gonna write a book entitled "when you give a cop a cookie..."
I don't even want to know.
Just got an x-ray done of my hip and you can clearly see the outline of my penis in it. When the doctor saw it she said "wow I haven't seen one that big on an x-ray before." Pretty sure the doc and the nurses are going to be talking about me on their lunch break.
Randomize