your room smells of hookers.
And success
he confessed his love for me, threw up on my pillow and then fell asleep on said pillow. i met him last night.
better than last weekend. things are really looking up for you.
Is it because I queefed?
She called me Jeff during sex, I just kept going like nothing happened. To think, if I was a woman that would be a problem.
I know its been a few months but you must know you hve the 2nd biggest dick I've ever seen. 1st place went to a rapper so don't feel bad.
according to the random from alabama i slept with last night i kept saying "poor lil tink tink" over and over in my sleep
Got into the physics lab with my student id, hooked up over break when school was closed. I regret no payments for tuition.
DON'T WEAR PANTS.
I REPEAT.
DO. NOT. WEAR. TROUSERS.
I'm too drunk to explain this to you. It's too hard.
Like I don't care that he's a drug dealer, but I have a problem with his inefficient and ineffective business model.
All I need to do is acquire a Shrek costume.
Please don't traumatize your girlfriend too terribly. Have fun.
I'm not saying I'm planning to hook up tomorrow but I'm also not saying I'm unprepared for it
And I broke things off with Justin last night. Except I texted him while he was asleep and then I was like well, that's probably not what he wants to wake up to, so I sent him a picture of the coconut I microwaved and caught on fire when I was really high one time.
I have been adopted by a clan of drunken skinny dipping tourists.
Have I told you i love you?
there's no need we are two peas in a naughty pod of fuckery
Randomize
