Currently having a discussion about how bad cheating is with the girl im dating and the girl im fucking. This might be a sign that i need to reassess my life
quadriplegic porn is always funny
no. no its not
i hooked up with a boy reading dear john, i have to get points for that somewhere
no he gets major points for having a girl hookup with him after reading dear john
I officially became the girl who let a guy get her off under the covers last night while her roommate and a friend were there. He was impressed by my ability to stay quiet and stay relatively focused on the conversation...
I am so ashamed of you, and yet so proud.
we walked around the neighborhood with caution tape tied around our foreheads, making indian noises. I might have disturbed a crime scene to make a native american headdress.
I am going to make your legs soar from cumming so much
Like they're going to fly away?
I just heard a 350 lb guy with a stutter describe getting blood in his eye as he was shanking his cellmate and, more generally, how to survive as a white guy in jail.\n\nYou should really consider going to some AA meetings
You know it's nice having a girlfriend who will lotion your balls for you
First sex of the summer I'm winning 1-0
GET HOME NOW
Oh shit
a guy just skateboarded past my window in a bunny suit while chased by a dog walker
It's now officially the Christmas season, so I have no shame in drinking evernog.
This is a weird combination of planning and sexting but whatever
Don't forget my pants whenever you come over, otherwise we can't get in.
Was I just dreaming, or was there a corpse at work last night?
She was just sleeping.
Is it bad that I'm kind of disappointed by that?
Of course you try to burn the house down on the one night we take down the smoke alarm so we can use the fog machine more
Randomize
