Would you object to my putting the bidet video on my Facebook page? It;s awesome.
what the fuck were we smoking when we had a conversation about how my brother would be so proud if i fucked an orange alien?!?
im learning from these one night stands last time i came in her this time i came on her AND deleted every contact in her phone!
i cant even explain all the reasons why i dont want to fuck you right now.
We have a tower of vodka coming. OF VODKA
We're using joints as your birthday candles
I took out the emergency phone in the elevator and replaced it with a bottle of vodka. The game is simple, do a shot for the number of the floor you're going to. Best suggestion box tip ever.
Just watched a girl lose her dignity at the corner...it's not even midnight
Stop jerking off to vines my recommended list on YouTube is getting weird.
I just realized how terrible that was... I was drumming on your penis to a song about Baby Jesus.
The bar tender had his entire hand down your asscrack.
I forgot about that. I was in MULTIPLE dimensions.
He referred to our sex as "an Olympic event." My tits are bruised.
His mom came while we were asleep naked and started asking me about my plans after high school... Is that even a thing.
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score onr for mom.
You threw up everything but your ovaries.
Randomize
