I just spent $27 on things to pee on.
Just kissed her with a dip in my mouth... She was either too drunk to notice or too cool to care
I had my own version of the Hangover last night. I woke up to a disassembled Christmas tree, shit on the futon, and a hamster in the bathroom with a necklace on that said "Feed Me Bitch." I don't own a hamster. I don't know what I drank last night, but I want to do it again.
sorry for the blank pocket text. My penis obviously has nothing to say to you.
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Who would have guessed that her hair would be so flammable
He's nice but I'm a one bouncer kind of girl
So my quick shower turned into a "lay in the shower and let the hot water reign over you because you are too hungover to wash your hair" shower. I'll be there closer to 1:30!
It was a shot marathon. It only ended because we werent drinking in our house apparently we walked into the nieghbors. When they got home thy were soooooo pissed.
Just got a ride from a stranger while walking a mile home as it hailed with no coat. He asked me if I smoked, then said he just made some potent cookies and I could have one.
The cookie was what I originally wanted to tell you. Always say yes to drugs from strangers
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Talked a police officer into driving us the 1/2 mile home from the bars because we didn't want to walk. I never knew the back of cop Cars had plastic seats.
Only in the emergency room do they shut the door when youre laughing too hard
I've scurried myself in your trunk come find me in the morning
soo... how was my night?
I’m not lawful evil! I do evil things because I want to, not because of the law
thanks for the bj man. also make sure you close the gate behind you. the chickens are out.
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