I'm pounding a vodka drink as we speak to make her interesting
I am watching Grease 2 and properly learning how to apply a condom to a banana. This is a sign from God that this is the closest I will ever get to having the need for one.
First shot of my 21st. 11 a.m. in econ class. Success.
I bruised his dick. I bruised his dick WITH MY MOUTH!! I've never felt more accomplished.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
and hes going back to rehab like me, so we have common interests
im drinking italian dressing and watching dexter. its 230am. lets never drink on sundays again.
I will not remember tonight for the most part. This text will be evidence. You can and probably will use this against me.
And by defning the relationship I mean telling him I'm gonna fuck other people but its cool If he does the same.
HIV testing and a light brunch. Sounds like a great way to spend Christmas Eve.
Maybe you'll have a Christmas miracle
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just got cockblocked by my GF's wedding shower... That's a first. And I have to buy a gift.
Did I call him? He cried after taking my bra off. You tell me.
She said I'm going to get you stoned and have you fuck me on the couch.
I vote we just hike, drink, and destroy dick
Um..... I have taste. The only thing I am going to bedazzle is my vagina.
My roommate has a sixth sense about my jerking off and walks in EVERY. SINGLE. TIME.
Randomize