im marching my happy ass in there and im not leaving until he cheats on his girlfriend!
i can't believe i had my finger in that
I didn't know it was possible to throw up mid-sneeze.
In The Air Tonight was playing in the dentist's office. Had to stop the cleaner to do the drums.
They were so slutty we had to play "rarely have I ever."
i crunched every chip from the dorito bag and poured it in the vase. never again will i have to deal with cool ranch fingers.
& he told me 'I don't think ur a big slut-just kind of an average slut'
HE THINKS THATS A COMPLIMENT!!!!!
Dude she threw his clothes out n 8th floor window and her dog tried to bite his dick off. So the answer is yes it could be worse...
yea im pretty sure it has something do with my love of forearms...
I think the duck is in my room. You have no idea how much worse a duck makes a hangover
My brain is foggy with friends reruns and him licking hummus off my tits.
David pulled a magic mike again and started stripping on every street sign we passed.
Fingerblasting some girl on the deck tryna get her to fuck on a lifeboat
I was hooking up with this girl last night and she's on top of me with "Flux Pavilion - I can't stop" grinding in the background and I thought "Holy shit I'm going to do a lot of Molly this semester."
Every dick I’ve had or wanted in the last year is married. It’s like I became a professional home wrecker after I graduated.
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