that drag queen yelled at him and touched me to make him jealous and said things like this is what a real man feels like. it was a thrill.
An ex-gang member just asked me out on a date via note. And spelled dinner wrong. Win?
The karaoke bar doesnt have electric avenue. Ill just have to pick another song and sing the lyrics to electric avenue
I don't really want to write this paper. It's the last one of the semester - I need to savor the feeling of procrastination.
Dude pussy is like music. For every person who pays for it, there are thousands more getting it for free.
She was singing my heart will go on into her barf bag. celine aint got shit on her.
If one more "stranger" walks up to me at the bar and asks how I have been, I am going to rehab.
We're pregaming our midterms. Also, when we get our tests back, we're taking a shot for every point we lost. If you're not in, you should just go ahead and transfer.
WTF YOU SHOULDNT BREAK A SWEAT TAKING A SHIT. MY BODY HATES ME.
things I never thought I would say vol. 24 "Bagpipes just remind me that my relationship is over"
I totally almost forgot you fucked that guy. St. Patty's bar crawls always have a drawback.
he can get married early and ruin his life but he sure as hell isn't ruining mine with a shitty bachelor party
The annual Father's Day Wake and Bake has been canceled due to lack of hustle.
I should come with a warning like "do not feed me tequila or cocaine, I will ruin the party and cry"
not only did I call my ex crying but drunk me also deleted the phone log so I had no warning when I saw him in class
Apparently i disappeared and no one found me until the morning , but i have fifty missed calls
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