Bonnaroo quote of the day: "why the fuck am i pregnant?!?!" - exclaimed loudly by random hippie.
so i completely puked my brains out. a lot. he held me up so i could brush my teeth. then we proceeded to hook up for the next four hours.
he's a keeper
im a genious. moved my bed and mirror so i can watch the game while Fucking
You must have had one hell of a time explaining to that girl why aladin soundtrack was playing on repeat in your room when you got back
Apparently, banging my bartender ex-girlfriend = free drinks again. Not every bad decision is a wrong decision.
I'm high, and her 2,100 tagged pictures annoy me even MORE. I wish it had a google searchbar so I could type in "cleavage pics" to get to the point.
He fell off the roof... he clearly has not been preparing for summer.
Just told my mom sparks is a health drink. Officially getting hammered on the way to the beach.
The bouncers kicked us out around 3 so we went to the grocery store flasks in hand and asked them to turn up their music...
what whaaaat?! I BET YOU WIN IN THE TEETH DEPARTMENT.
Note to self: semen does not count as food to take medicine with
I thought it was a myth but I have just reached the age of sitting on my balls. Not a fan.
OMG CHARGE YOUR PHONE I NEED TO KNOW IF THIS IS A GOOD PICTURE OF MY ASS
The man built me a fort. Of course he got laid.
I just got baptized.
Drunkenly skinny dipping in a indoor hotel pool is not okay and does not count as a baptism.
Randomize
