The party tonight has no theme but I decided to go as a home wrecker.
One thing i hate about playoff baseball: George Lopez
I drank gravy. I actually drank gravy. This is heaven.
Old lady caught me peeing in the street and yelled at me and said "I REBUKE YOU"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Not only is it unacceptable to be bar hopping alone at 5 o'clock. It is definitely unacceptable to do so with a lobster
You haven't had the true md experience until you've had your crotch grabbed by a drunk stripper with a snaggle tooth in front of your coworkers.
My god this is going to ruin whatever Vegas left of our souls...
When i left he was drinking an entire pot of coffee out of the pot with a straw. It's safe to say he's using a personal day
it's ok my mom asked me why i had a guys shirt on and also why there was chocolate all over my bra
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I mean, I Just Had Sex in 4 on her top 25 most played list. That's got to give you some indication
I sexted him with a GIF from titanic and it worked....
He had a small dick anyway. I'm glad I barfed on it.
I'm trying to drink up the confidence to run in public.
He asked if I was a pirate because my "arrrrrrrrse" was worth burying. 10/10 for effort, 20/10 for serial killer vibes.
Pretty sure I got at least one girl to question her sexuality at the Christmas party last night
Randomize