Sunscreen. In my vag. I hate summer sex.
All I remember is holding on to the elevator asking it politely to stop spinning
We found you in the middle of the road chucking gravel because "the house was too far away".
You described pouring milk in your strawberry cereal as a glittering magnificent water fall, skimming over the mountain and little strawberry citizens.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Jesus horatio Christ I forgot my mittens and am considering shoving my hands down the pants of the first semi attractive man I see
Stephen I'm in a lecture and the lecturer just said 'you can CHOOSE to put something in your mouth and swallow it" i'm the only one here who burst out laughing, this is awkward. Thought you'd appreciate it.
They'll never let you practice medicine.
Much like Dre, I was forgotten about.
Just sent a dick pic to ur girl. It was accident. Plz mail it to Gena.
I spilled wine on my pillowcase and I figure it's basically my lifeblood so I'm just leaving it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
no it was
but you compared your dick to a female disney character
I just ate apple sauce in my underwear. This isn't 30. This is 3.
Please come over. It's a pajama and burn-2016-in-effigy party
There's lube and condom packets all over the street we missed something awesome.
Well this guy just went into a detailed lecture about how rinos are developing into unicorns.. It's gonna be a good night.
You're lucky I'm holding your vagina in my best interests
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