you won't ask to borrow his earbuds because you think it's gross, but you'll have sex with him?
How was dinner with ur grandparents?
I was really blazed and scared they'd catch me, so when they asked about my day I was concentrating really hard on not saying smoking that instead I honestly said "Well, I had sex on your pool table, Nana."
I never want a future conversation of ours to include the words "quart of semen" in it
I think I just need to sleep with both of them to see which I want to date.
You just went from promiscuous to slut in 3.2 seconds.
Just saw the hottest 4 garbage men ever. They should make a calendar
Dude, the cops never think it's as funny as you do.
i know and i thought i was only capable of loving dick and drugs, im so happy
Nothing sez sunday morning like waking up in a phonebooth with a leg cramp.
I can't take any time off so I'll be here drinking mimosas til I puke at home with my kitty
Check having sex on the rocks and dirt on the peak of saddleback mountain off my list.
I felt like a god.
Idk but she keeps giving me s'mores and I'm having a hard time caring about her alcoholism because of it
Bjs and tacos. That's my life.
definitely good. no good can come from sex in a very full public venue.
It's a herpes check up not a beauty pageant
Ha. Yeah that's all I found you with this morning. Butt ass naked w my robe across your lap and your arms thrown back in handcuff position.
Randomize
