It's like sleeping with someone you met at a karaoke bar. It's never okay.
The homeless ppl in LA are great. Theres sum guy that makes all of his clothes out of tighty whitey underwear. He makes bags out of them 2. Presumably 2 hold more underwear.
Remeber when I drunkenly made out with him this summer while he was getting bitched at by his girlfriend on the phone? Yeah, neither do I. But I'm pretty sure that same thing happened again last night.
He drives a BMW. I have to fuck him. Girl Code Rule #26.
Dude, you bit through my nipple. Give it a week, damn.
Ok in all seriousness. Alcohol intake is now restricted for me. I found handcuffs in my trunk.
Trying to figure out the logistics of putting my laptop speakers on this plate with the last slice of pizza. Too drunk to move the plate. Not an option.
I'm so tired I just poured monster in my coffee.
And it tastes incredible.
And I have chest pains.
I lost my bra at his grandma's house so there's that.
Please don't buy a buttplug. It won't fill the empty space in your heart.
Fuck that guy and his dumb haircut and awesome dick
in a meeting in my bathtub while predrinkin for tonight. technology.
My mind doesn't wanna day drink but my heart does.
Please don't fuck the professor. We both know that won't end well.
I don't know what that means but it's making me want to fuck you.
Randomize
