I reminded them that I didn't puke and I cleaned yours up! So huh!
were not allowed back there because i puked on the waitresses foot while trying to order another round. for myself.
I plan on using my big titties for evil tonight.
No, we're smoking outside. We're hot boxing the world.
found your viking helmet in the parking lot this morning, its missing a horn. There was still liquor in the remaining horn. shots from a viking helmet should be mandatory.
That is the best grammar in a dirty text ever. Excellent use of the semi-colon. And yes; I am hard.
So who won the naked front yard Olympics last night?
Well my tits are spray painted gold & i have what i think r the Olympic rings shaved in my vag !!!!!!!SO its safe to say i won something ....
Just puke n rally. People can't judge, it's syllabus week.
I think I reached some stage of aging, have a sore/injured shoulder from sex, next up carpal tunnel from sexting.
I had to get my boss birth control a work today. I knew going to ASU would come in handy in my career someday.
My manager just held my hair while I threw up in a dumpster. New low.
I brought those bastards cookies so they can deal with my sex noise, fuck them and their roommate asses
Did we kick in my basement door last night?
Yes. I think you actually bought tennis shoes specifically for that application.
I woke up with what has to be a whole pack of smarties loose in my bra. Was that your fault?
As you were falling you yelled out, "save my burrito!" Priorities
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