why didn't you poke me back
I just broke up with Liz. I feel awful so I put two free rentals on her Blockbuster account.
i was high and broke so i stole a roast chicken and a 40 inch sheet cake from wegmans and ate in a bathroom stall.
Why didn't you tell me that Dad was a registered sex offender?
We were going to tell you eventually, how'd you find out?
Our school resource officer showed us how to use Family Watchdog and pulled up his picture.
A girl just asked me to co-sign for her boob job because she didn't have enough credit built up. This is a first.
I passed out on my porch last night. I'm still making it to class. This is what growing up means.
I'm pretty sure we put the facepaint on during whippets
we tried to steal a tractor last night. you should have come out.
With any luck I will spend the duration of this flight with my tray table up my seatbelt securely fastened and my face in his lap
I want to let you in on my two latest life goals. Have a photograph of me squirting whipped cream into a midget's mouth, and have sex on a roof.
Thanks for the cold. I shartted and sat through a whole soccer game. James made 3 scores.
Got head at the top of a water slide over-looking the valley while wearing a sombrero and drinking a corona. Epic.
Definition of cool: he wants a back tattoo of three horses running through a "paisley explosion"
How did he even become this person? Like what drugs has he done??
Agree to hang out with him and then take a gigantic shit right on him. Or if youve forgiven him for being a fucker maybe make out with him.
So I fell alseep while I was motorboating that girl last night infront of the entire party.
Randomize