I'm praying to Jesus, Allah, Buddah,and the whole gang tonight that I'm not pregnant
i just discovered a movie that charlize theron is a sex addict. i think my prayers have been answered
You coming out tonight? We gotta hang out before I move to Madison. BTW I'm moving to Madison.
I'm about to tackle a 10 year old off a sea doo
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I NEED TO NOT REMEMBER THIS IN THE MORNING. He is our TEACHER.
I filled two of the glass ornaments in my mom's bathroom last night with vodka. That way no one sees me drinking on Christmas. Alcoholic or genius? All I know it makes bathroom trips frequent and enjoyable.
Is putting "Tonight I'm Fucking You" on my date playlist too forward?
I remember seeing his penis I just dont know exactly what I did with it
Do what? I was just saying that at some point there's a chance I'll have a boner. Think of it like a guessing game. "Does he have one now?"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
it looks like my getting laid tonight is going to depend on my knowledge of native birds. this is a weird party
People were staring and acting all judgmental and offended... Like they've never seen anyone breastfeed in a liquor store.
right now I need to figure out a smart way to get an accurate picture of his dick so I know what in dealing with, right now in flying blind.
I know you're on a date and I should leave you alone but about twenty minutes ago I realized I haven't been spanked in years so if you're still looking for a birthday present, you know, consider it.
Can you get snapchat back so I can show you all the places I threw up in/on last night?
You would critique a dick pic. Damn art people.
Randomize