Can't talk. I'm at the Tulsa Sheriff's office with a bunch of rednecks. I bet I'm the only one that voted for Obama.
I bet you're the only one who could read the ballott.
So i told my advisor i had to drop the class bc the prof said "supposably" and "irregardless" within the 1st 10 minutes of the 1st class; she agreed with me that dropping it was the best choice
Put your dick on his face to wake him up, dont worry its fine.
someone left their shoes, a resume, and a pizza in the shower... i am actually speechless
Also, my phone autocorrects ENABLER to all caps. I think I drunk text the word too often.
If your relationships aren't working out because she doesn't have a penis THEN maybe you should give dudes another go
I'm not about to serve this country to fuckin not have rum and cheezits for breakfast
He showed up in booty shorts and no shirt and said dont laugh dont ask questions and give me a fucking final and no one in class said anything we just sat there speehless
I won't apologize to a one balled man
Lol, you asked the waitress to box up someone else's discarded food last night
I mean I love some drunk compliments, but he just wasn't up to my low standards.
Nothing says "class act" like eating acid in the middle of a Buffalo Wild Wings
I had to get my boss birth control a work today. I knew going to ASU would come in handy in my career someday.
BUT I'M ALSO ONLY IN IT FOR SEX AND HE CAN'T EVEN GET THAT PART RIGHT.LIKE LITERALLY ALL HE HAS TO DO IS DICK ME DOWN AND BE A DECENT HUMAN BEING IS THAT SO HARD TO ASK?!
Just went to jump into bed... Completely missed the bed.
Randomize
