i passed out on the floor in my hallway and woke up with my dog licking himself 2 inches from my face. my first reaction? envy
Dude it was awful. I woke up with more strippers in my dorm room than those duke lacrosse kids.
Just a heads up: The party is Fourth of July themed. Spread the word
dude its may
Work with me here, man.
this girl is having heart failure because she lost her feather...a gypsy blessed it in turkey. Not sure im high enough for this
What can I say, we hook up during the holidays.. We're a seasonal couple
Meet me at the corner of "what the fuck" and"how'd you get in my bed" in 10 minutes.
Desperately trying not to throw up over the side of the ferry back to CT. Can't be the first one of the season.
She literally just cut half her hair off because she's tired of asking someone to hold it back when shes drunk and puking.
I know everybody has skeletons in their closet but why are all of mine so slutty?
Guess I'll put him on my to-do list too. But closer to the bottom since we dated before. That's almost unethical.
i puked in the 2nd best shower and the couple fucking in the 1st didnt even pause so you might wanna hold off on that for a while
You were mean to me and you broke my heart and hurt my feelings. You dont get to talk to me about Peter Dinklage
I think we ended 5-7 relationships as well this weekend...so another good stat
Everything is a learning experience. Last night we learned why I'm not allowed to bring guys home from the bar....
Idk... I'm not sure why anyone would use a flesh light in general. Let alone hook it up to a wifi device.
Randomize
