I had to use the resin knife to take the staples out of my tax return forms. Tax returns and a search warrant?
The movie was so bad she gave me two blowjobs. Two.
He told everyone he was going inside...an hour later we get a knock on the garage door from some dude telling us a guy is passed out on the lawn and we should get him inside because it's about to rain
He fucked volume into my hair. It was amazing.
So i'm in a museum and theres a punch bowl from 1765 with a picture of 3 men forcing the 4th to drink the punch bowl. Colonial hazing
See this is what happens when we don't have sex everyday
It's kind of hard to say bye to you when you fall asleep on the bar..
am i so blindsided by his great personality that i'm hooking up with an ugly guy?
i thought you knew
Yes, he did use his cock to direct traffic from my 3rd story window. That's why I love him
I can officially say I had a blunt rolled on my ass
Can you bring home bongs? Like all the bongs. I need bongs
I don't remember... but I heard a cop threatened to pepper spay my dick
I'm at the back whiskey bar with a 7 and 7 in a winnie the pooh costume. Come find me.
Enjoy the penises
5 seconds ago I had no idea that a fart could travel so fastly thru the tanning bed. I taste it in the back of my neck.
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