She just took off her shirt and jumped in the kiddie pool. We're not leaving.
Let's review the facts-we're bored, we have a ton of beer, and we live 5 minutes from the zoo. This equation is easily solvable
They really brought out their best strippers for vday weekend
Before you say anything, my vagine does NOT discriminate against young dads
They said an hour before I even see a doctor...and they noticed the shots tally on my arm.
I cant feel my face. Like I dont even know if I have one. I wish I had a helmet
Just call Katie. She's like the drunk whisperer; she can get them to do anything.
There is a 5-year old here fighting 'drunk monkeys'. He tried to knock a drink out of my hand with a plastic light saber...
Have you ever realized how cool bread is? Like so many things taste good on it. Like its crazy to think that peanut butter and turkey can both taste good on the same thing.
It would seem she's painting a bullseye right in between her legs
I think if you have sex on the couch it will psychologically damage it.
I would bite a mans dick off for a chocolate milk.
She said to me, without hesitation, "make me an offer better than my sugar daddy and I'll go with you"
If I send you a picture of a dick will you give me your honest reaction?
I think the fact that I stole someone's mail and broke my big toe means that I should consider taking some time away from vodka
Randomize
