i fuckib htae you, you church bitch.
you know you are hungover when... you set your alarm for the next time you think you are going to throw up
have you ever noticed that homeless people never have acne. suck it proactive
Hey was my sperm eye the same day I crapped myself?
My Adderall prescription says to take my recommended dose and throw away any leftover pills. Why don't more prescriptions come with jokes like this?
You NEED to fuck him he's a doctor with one leg. Are you kidding me right now. This will definitely make the list. Plus he buys all of us drinks.
Im positive, your name was on my abdomen, Im pretty sure thats solid evidence
crossed #23 off the Slucket List!
YOU JUST MADE YOUR SLUCKET LIST THIS MORNING.
I got another blow job proposal last night. Skills.
The dude at Coffee Bean just handed me my tea latte and whispered, "pomegranate blueberry is such a sexy flavor". With a wink. I'm almost certain that there's an STD floating around in my drink.
When are you going to accept the fact he is gay?
Come on... He's just practicing.
Ok. That's acceptable.
Never thought an ATM max withdrawal could be such a good thing...
I decided to do drugs in front of her because if anyone can handle the truth it's a ghost
Since I won't be making love with anyone on a bed of roses this year on Sunday I bought a Mustang to fill the gap
Hey, thanks for helping me this morning
Always a pleasure to feed you bread as your body lay crumpled on the floor.
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