There needs to be a term for a female version of a rusty trombone
I had a new years resolution not to be a whore anymore, but I think I'm gonna wait till 2011
You said you didn't deserve to walk so you started crawling down to your room
Just lit a joint with steel wool and a 9 volt battery... thank you 3rd grade science class
I need a $60 an hour job, because I have a $50 an hour drinking habit.
Calling yourself a modern day Geisha doesn't justify being a whore.
He is currently pregaming mini golf. MINI GOLF.
Well despite the fact that I'm still not entirely sure this isn't an elaborate/cunning plan to kill me, I'm in.
When you get a chance, you should call Nick. He REEAAAALLLLLY wants to hear you make chewbacca noises.
There's a certain feeling that only comes from wearing pearls to hide hickeys
GOOGLE HAS JUST RELEASED AN UPDATE THAT ALLOWS YOU TO CATCH POKEMON USING MAPS. Pack your shit, our time has COME.
Just remember, it's never too late to make a porno
Hey, Would it be ok if me and your wife have a ladies only night and masturbated on FaceTime together?
The waxing lady fingered me during my brazilian. 40 dollars well spent
Wait, you met him on Onlyfans? The guy from last night? Which one of you is the fan?
Because one of you banged your stalker
Randomize
