fuck the hobbit
what about unicorns?
fuck those pointy horses
Sometimes I stick my finger in my own ass and pretend it’s a vagina. I think it’s kinda weird. What do you think?
Grandma was not a fan of the beer-can ornaments. Not "traditional".
I swear that when I have my own bathroom, I'm gonna lock myself in there and masterbate for at least 3 days in sheer appreciation of it.
FUUUUUCK she froze all my quaters inside the ice cubes again
How did our waiter from olive garden end up passed out drunk in my roommate's bed?
Currently in the bathroom stall of a gay bar in new haven giving myself an anti throw up pep talk
Just realized that St. Patty's is on a Saturday this year in case you were interested in coming to New York and redefining bender with me.
Bullets don't scare me. I wish I was a coyote
Nothing says summer like lemonaid, but nothing says fuck yeah summer like lemonaid and vodkavodka
The world is a different place when I'm actually having sex
I'm not finished with being a sloppy white girl alcoholic. I didn't postpone having a husband and kids for sober weekends.
Why is there never any toilet paper at his apartment? What does he wipe his ass with? WHAT DOES HE WIPE IT WITH?!?
How much have you had to drink?
Qhaghao Oslo?
That seems like quite a lot.
Eventually I will start sleeping with people who actually want to hangout with me the next day... But not today
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