Can I ask u a weird question?
Sure
do u have the hershy squirts too?
You know how I told you I don't have many naked pics? Apparently that changed last night.
successfully started a charcoal grill with 2 shots of everclear and some aluminum foil. i never wanna leave here
who has that picture of us looking like alcoholics at the zoo?
Sometimes I love sober logical me. She makes rare appearances but when she does she shines.
I have a weapon and I'm not blacked out. Good as gold
because of daylight savings time I lost an hour of sex with an incredibly hot guy last night. thanks a lot farmers.
I mean, you've seen me eat pizza, sober, out of a garbage can, and yet I refuse to go eat at that place. Just sayin....
my vag sweat smells like doritos
so now that we're not dating you have to stop sending shit like this to me okay?
it'll be like the notebook except for with way more of my penis
Everyone should just give me a copy of their keys. I take your dog out and I bring beer.
Being an adult can't be all bad. I just took a vacation day solely to sit around and get stoned
I had mediocre parking lot sex last night so the night wasn't a complete bust.
Why do I always have at least 8 men with whom I am conducting some sort of poorly planned love experiment?
Is it good porn? Or is it more of that fucked up Cabbage Patch Doll porn you made us watch
Randomize
