Gonna be late. Someone jumped in front of our train.
please stop telling ppl youre Alice Cullen when youre drunk
Normal people don't sit around and watch Degrassi for twelve hours...
FUCK YOU.
Apparently I did my philosophy paper last night. It's not bad either.
Throwing up while listening to pandora radio. Don't tell me my life doesn't have theme music.
Worst hangover of my career vs the return of the blue balls. Will keep updated
How sober do you have to be to donate blood?
I rigged together two of my vibrators for more power... I've created a monster.
I walked outside an you were laying down talking to a star about your life. That's when I took the bottle of jack away...
. Drop what your doing. Were going to Knoxville for midget wrestling. It's the championship.we can NOT miss this.
She showed up in lingerie and a turtle backpack full of bacardi. I think its love.
I'm glad that even though we are states apart our whorish hearts beat as one
If I had your job the next day id be on the news. And not the good news. Like fox & friends. Nancy grace would have my ass.
Captain and coke. And it's not drinking alone cuz i have a dog
It began the way the best stories do—with some naïve jackasses in a place they had no business being at.
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